2020. The year of change.

I felt change was the appropriate topic for this month’s blog because not only is change something we are enduring as a whole, almost everyone I talk to is going through some kind of major life change, myself included. 

I turn 30 years old tomorrow – I don’t have a job, I have been engaged, but never been married, I don’t have any kids, and the only “property” I (almost) own is my car. It’s safe to say that when I used to sing Deana Carter’s Strawberry Wine, “when 30 was old”, I did not expect this would be what 30 looked like or felt like. Accepting that I am not where I wanted to be was my first step to embracing change. I have always had a rigid expectation of where I expected myself to be, I am goal driven and am someone who sets high expectations for myself and my future. Rather than feeling bad for myself, I am accepting my life as it is, and am committed to looking at my current situation realistically, and with the utmost optimism. I am learning that true achievement is in my willingness to transform into a better version of myself, and I can honestly say, I feel proud of who I am, despite the things I “don’t have”.

It’s funny because regardless of the many known benefits that can come with any change, there is usually a resistance to it. I think this is because most change requires us to let go or move on from something that we have become attached to. That attachment may be to, a mindset, a person, a job, a lifestyle, etc. But it’s important to remember that, evolution and transformation are essential for growth, and while your everyday life may not feel the same, you are never actually without what you feel you may have lost, because that experience/memory/person is yours for eternity. 

If change is inevitable and tomorrow isn’t promised,  I find comfort in knowing that every evolving circumstance happens solely for my benefit, and to be honest, what’s the alternative? Thinking that the world is against me? That would be getting me nowhere. So, as per usual, I came up with an affirmation to help me embrace change, My life is an adventure and I choose to enjoy the ride.

Reminding myself that enjoying my life, is my choice, is empowering! This has helped me redirect any anxiety I have surrounding the unknown, into excitement for the surprise of not knowing what the future holds. 

Many of us crave some sort  of change (new relationship, new job, new house, new baby, etc), but as soon as we are given the choice to change, we become afraid of the loss that must happen before receiving our desire (old house, old lifestyle, old friends, etc.), and may lose sight of the wins that are to come. The truth is, you are never actually LOSING something. Your past will ALWAYS be part of your story, the love you have shared with another person is never going to be taken away from you. And the memories and adventures you have lived are going to continue to write your own personal story. 

Change will always find you, whether you like it or not, we are constantly changing, evolving, growing and hopefully improving. Change is inevitable and never-ending, and it will continue to be something you must overcome, over and over again. So, I have decided rather than fight whatever transformation is occurring, I will surrender my power to the power of the universe, and have unwavering faith in the process.

“Faith is an aspect of consciousness. We either have faith in fear or we have faith in love, faith in the power of the world or faith in the power of God”

– A Return To Love, Marianne Williamson

We are free to experience the endless beauty this life constantly provides in each passing moment. Of course, I want to have that picture perfect “adult” life I thought I would have, but what good is it to sit upon a rock and wish I had something, without opening my eyes and seeing everything I already have! If  I had to exchange my actual reality for the life I might think I want, I don’t know that I would, because the lessons I have learned in the past 29 years are beyond measure. I am learning to appreciate my ability to embrace change. To find joy and satisfaction in the chaos and uncertainty.  It is in times of change, that we are given the chance to reconnect to our true self. 

I think that, no matter how scary or unknown the future may be, it is in the acceptance that we don’t HAVE to know everything, that will help redefine our sense of self.

In my opinion, every year should be the year of change.  Every day should be a day of enlightenment and understanding. No matter how much you try to avoid change, it always finds you. And if you’re anything like me, a creature of habit, changing what you know, is not always the easiest or the most natural thing. However, what I can appreciate about change, is knowing that with change comes knowledge and creation. Recognizing that if I were unable to embrace change, I would become stagnant and frozen, and what kind of life would that be? 

“It’s not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin 

So, I guess the takeaway would be, live fully in the now. Love those that surround you. Appreciate all that you have in this present moment. Make a conscious effort to not take this life you have been given for granted, despite the adversity you may face. Because nothing in this physical world is permanent, it is all temporary. There will come a time that you will have everything you have ever wanted, and you may still be wishing for a change, and there will also come a time that you no longer have what you have today. “Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the fuuuturee.” (Steve Miller Band, Fly Like an Eagle) 

The most important thing you can do for yourself is, make the most out of this day, sit back, and enjoy the ride you have been given!

Thank you so much for reading this month’s positivi-tea! I appreciate your support more than you will ever know, I am wishing you strength, resilience and love throughout all the changes you experience.

Until next month,

Yass