I have gone back and forth on what I should say in this blog post; There has been so much that has transpired in my life the past year alone, not to mention the years prior, that I have no idea where to even begin/where to filter because I could literally be here all night typing out my story…
I figured it would be best to highlight the lessons learned and share my overall experience in the off chance someone reading this could relate and/or feel inspired to find happiness within.
I think the theme of 2020 for all of us has been to find comfort in the unknown/uncomfortable. The chaos and lack of control in not only the world but for me personally, led me to no other option but to just surrender and allow the Universe to show me where to go.
I have been practicing positive thinking and affirmations consistently for 4 years. And the first thing I want to make very clear is – when you affirm for the Divine plan of your life to manifest in your life, the universe will 1000% hear you, and make it happen. Andin my case, the universe had flipped my entire world upside down, in the matter of a week.
I couldn’t really be mad, I had asked for it. I literally affirmed it out loud. If you were a part of my my first affirmation challenge last summer, you may not have known that while I was sending those emails, I was also packing up my car and heading to Texas, unexpectedly. I knew what I had to do, but I feared having to leave the steady, consistent and comfortable life I had grown accustomed to for the past 12 years. It was terrifying. But also freeing. Everything was happening to fast that I literally had no other option but to fully surrender and practice what I was preaching. A belief that I KNOW to be true, which was that no matter what, the universe has my back and God is good all the time.
Rather than allow fear to paralyze me and keep me stuck in my own misery of trying to figure out what to do, and those feelings of loss and sadness clouding my judgement and confidence, I didn’t know where to start. But the only thing to fear is fear itself, so I chose to be patient with myself, to be kind to myself and choose love over anger. I decided to redirect my energy and focus my attention on bettering myself. I relied on very small, every day habits that I knew would result in long term success and personal happiness.
I also learned that happiness is an inside job. It starts from within. And it is not THAT easy or natural, especially in the beginning or when you’re in the thick of it. There were days that I could not get it together, feeling so overwhelmed and lost that it was extremely tough to be able to keep my head on straight, let alone in a positive place. Six months into living in Texas, I decided that staying stuck in these feelings of fear, doubt or negativity was getting me no where, that my personal happiness was strictly and purely MY OWN inside job. As soon as I made this revelation and changed my mind around, the Universe showed up for me. Opportunities, people, experiences, and so much LOVE found me, naturally and genuinely.
I trust that EVERYTHING that happens to me or around me is happening in my favor, and for my personal best. My positive thoughts and intentions never go unheard, because God, the Universe, the Highest Power, Source, whatever you choose to call it, has my back and will never fail me or forsake me.
The secret is to be in tune with the love and support that you’re being shown, even if it’s in the form of something you may fear or want to reject.
This past year was filled with heartbreak, loss, sadness, and so.much.fear. But simultaneously it was filled with so much more goodness, love, miracles and happiness, making it worth every tear. I will never forget the year I got to literally live my 13 going on 30 dream life. I got to live with my mom like I was 18 again, spent quality time with my family for the first time in twelve years, I got to actually celebrate and enjoy the holidays (something I had not done in 4 years due to being a retail store manager), AND I also watched my sister become a mom for the first time, and I, an aunt, for the very first time to the most handsome boy I have ever laid my eyes on. All while being reassured that the love that I thought I had lost, was actually true love all along.I got re-engaged to the guy that I have loved for over a decade, on my favorite holiday weekend (4 of the July), the same day my nephew was born. TRUE divine timing I tell ya! And most importantly, I grew spiritually in ways that I never thought would be possible, and I will treasure the strength and support the Universe gave me this past year, for the rest of my life.
Here are some of my favorite pictures that will always remind me of this blessed year!
Here’s the truth, and what I want to make very clear in this blog. Being positive is not about ignoring or dismissing your fears, it’s not living in a fantasy and/or being oblivious to the harsh realities or heartbreaks we endure with this life. Being positive is looking all of that fear straight in the eye and facing it. It’s allowing yourself to ride the wave of the unknowns, giving yourself permission to truly feel and process all emotions and concerns, and then it is about picking yourself back up, believing in yourself, coming up with a solution and taking action.
Life has a way of putting you back on the right track. I beleive we are each intended to carry out a purpose and destiny on this earth, and if it weren’t for the difficult times, we would not be able to receive or fully appreciate the divine plan for our life. Fear and struggle is not something to reject or feel shameful about, because it is always when we are in the middle of the storm that we truly realize how durable and capable we are, it’s in those dark moments that we really get to see our light.
Being optimistic is a reality check that we knew deep down we needed – otherwise we would be chasing a false perception of what is real and what is truly important.
I started creating this website in April 2020 – it was, and still is, my intention to be a place that anyone who is struggling to find their purpose, or may be feeling lost and hopeless, would be reminded of how powerful and in control you really are.
Sharing my positive affirmations with you is something that has given me an electrifying surge of hope and inspiration. I didn’t realize how much I needed them, until I was in the middle of my first challenge, July 2020, when my life turned upside down and those emails kept me from falling into the dark hole of sadness.
Your encouragement and support has truly made an everlasting impact on my heart and I pray that I can continue to be a cheerleader and advocate for the good, fulfilling and purposeful life.
The feedback and excitement I have received about the previous affirmation challenges inspired me to elevate the experience even more. These affirmations have truly changed my ways of thinking and living, which is why I’m starting the 7 days of affirmations, October 4 (sign up here).
But I have SO MUCH MORE to share! SO! I created the well-being workout program, Inhale Fear, Exhale Faith. I know how difficult it is to muster up your ability to take action when you feel paralyzed with fear, sadness, or doubt. I get that sometimes you may feel so overwhelmed you don’t even know where to start. And that’s where I come in!!
I wanted to take the thinking part out of it and help you start taking action toward whatever it is you feel like you’re lacking or needing. I am sharing the 4 desires that result in our idea of optimal happiness and a step by step program on how to receive and achieve genuine happiness and purpose in your every day life. Please sign up to learn more and/or to save your spot and be the first to experience this transformative work out for your well-being, please sign up today!!!
I really believe that the more positive and uplifting energy we create, the bigger the impact our love can make on the world. If you’re not sure you want to commit fully, I encourage you to sign up for the 7 days of affirmations, this is a free inspirational tool that will give you invaluable life experiences and perspective.
I can’t thank you enough for being here, reading what I have to say, and allowing me to express myself in ways that feel the most authentically me.
Hellooo!!! Long time no blog! I feel like I’ve been in a creative funk for the past few months..buuut NO MORE!
First blog of 2021!! WOO!
After much back and forth with myself, battling whatever shyness/awkwardness I feel for putting myself out here, I decided it’s better to just let it out! I AM aware this isn’t my first blog post haha, but I guess after taking a break away from it, those first time feels of fear and doubt creep in and try to deter me from writing/posting. ANYWHO – since 2020 just ended and I am now able to process a lot of what transpired in the past 6 months, I wanted to recap what I have learned from all the change that occurred in the later half of the year.
I am currently living with my mom in Texas, working with her and my sister at our boutique, Imani Imani in Fort Worth, annnd still trying to find my place in this world..so in a nutshell, not much as changed since writing my last blog post haha! And for anyone who doesn’t know – I drove down from Salt Lake City, UT at the end of July, leaving a long relationship, my cat, close friends, most of my clothes and belongings, and the independence I had grown accustomed to for the past 12 years.. I do feel very fortunate that one of my best friends from Utah happened to move to Austin the same day as me, so it has been comforting to have her just a few hours away from me!
At the beginning of 2020 knew some sort of life change was becoming more and more necessary, but where to even start.. and when COVID-19 hit our world in March and after much self reflection during quarantine, I finally made the jump and quit my job of 4 years. I could no longer ignore the Universe’s persistent push for change,and while I had no idea what that change looked like or where to begin, I knew nothing would change if nothing changed.
So when things in my relationship starting going south, and no longer had a job.. I decided it was best to just pack up my car and make the long 24 hour drive down here. I honestly didn’t know how long I would stay or where I would end up. I was planning on only staying for a couple weeks max, but that two weeks turned into a month.. and here we are 6 months and the same 2 pairs of jeans later!
Me and Ashley celebrating our first weekend together officially in Texas..Kinda hard to tell but we’re making the shape of TX with our hands:) Austin, TX – August 2020
Driving to Texas.. somewhere around Cortez, CO
The past several months have been what I could best describe as an emotional roller coaster – one minute I’ll feel perfectly content and happy, the next I’ll be crying, feeling sad and missing the life I used to know..to more crying because I start to feel overwhelmed with the thought of having to start my life completely over.. to crying because I feel lost and am living with my mom at 30 years old…to then crying tears of gratitude to be here and experience these moments with my mom and family that I haven’t had since I was 18.. or just crying because I’m emotional and don’t have an exact reason as to why I’m crying but I’m not crying you’re crying haha!!
The only thing I know for sure is that God has never left my side. This experience has continued to strengthen my faith in knowing that God is GOOD all of the time, reassuring me that everything is happening for a reason, even if I can’t see it yet. I have found that through my commitment to keep my head up and my willingness to keep my hopes high, I am being led toward more light and less darkness. I have been reminded that no amount of possessions or accolades define who I am as a person, nor does it make or break my happiness; and that whatever my current circumstance is, there has yet to be a good enough excuse or reason to keep me from living my best life.
I wanted to break down how I’ve been navigating through all this change and what focus has helped me move forward and find more peace and happiness with each passing day.
Going back to the beginning –
August – Positive thoughts.
When I first got to Texas, I felt like I was on a vacation, having fun with my family and enjoying all the summer activities, while at the same time, my heart literally ached, I would sometimes burst out in tears for no reason, feeling so lost and sad, missing everything that I had left behind. This was when I began to really focus on my inner dialogue. Telling myself over and over that God was working, there was a reason for this season and reassuring myself that I am safe, healthy, I have family and friends that love me, a roof over my head, etc., this helped! But, I needed to feel more settled, more aligned/connected to my self.
Realizing I had absolutely zero structure or routine, resulted in me feeling uneasy, overwhelmed more frequently, and even more lost than before (new focus = create structure).
September – Create Structure.
I knew I needed to save whatever sanity I had left.. I needed SOMETHING to do every day that was just for me, and if I came up with some sort of structure to my day I would feel a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. I also needed something that I knew I would actually do on a daily basis, so I committed to going on a walk outside every day, preferably in the morning, but if it wasn’t until later in the day that worked too..(ideally walking 2-3 miles, for 30-45 min, mostly for meditative and alone time purposes). I feel energized and recharged after some alone time.. I guess this makes me an introvert..? I didn’t always know this about myself, but after one of my many emotional breakdowns, I was able to piece together that I would feel the most distressed or irritated when I didn’t get any “me time”, thus I realized spending time with myself and my thoughts, is what truly eases my mind.
Walking every day revitalized my soul!! I needed the quiet time to reconnect with Universe and open my eyes to all of the incredible life that exists outside in nature! This time allowed me to begin healing/accepting my reality and all the many changes that I was going through.
Here’s my all time favorite tree from my morning walk! (October 11, 2020)
October – Affirmation Challenge
Halfway through September I was really starting to feel back to myself! I decided to add another positive activity/outlet to my daily routine by creating a second positive affirmation challenge, this time for the entire month! If you were a part of that challenge, I hope you enjoyed it and benefited from it as much as I did!! I have always loved being in school/working, as something to focus on that gives me a sense of responsibility and purpose. And I truly love being able to share positive energy with others, there’s something about the collective happy vibrations invigorate and uplift my spirit more than I am able to express! The affirmation challenge helped me find ease and a sense of purpose and I am so grateful to everyone who shared that experience with me!!
BUT! I definitely underestimated the amount of work 31 days of writing affirmations when I first committed to the idea, I am not someone who gives up on a promise, so I deep down knew that it would be tough, but needed to push myself out of my comfort zone. It’s always rewarding to persevere and finish something that you didn’t think would be possible!
November and December – Break for the holidays
I was definitely feeling like I needed to slow down and take a break after October. I wasn’t going on my walks as consistently, and the routine I was just starting to get the hang of started dwindling.. and I hit a creative wall. I did keep up with some reading and journaling/free writing regularly, which is something that has been a great outlet for letting go of the thoughts that start to fill my mind.. If you ever feel like you can’t get out of your own head.. I highly suggest free writing for 10-15 minutes.. It’s amazing what a mental release writing brings.. Even if you never read the words again (I rarely do).
This little break in my barely there routine was a nice reset. I told myself to just enjoy the time with my family since it had been 10 years since I had celebrated thanksgiving being home in Texas. And I had been working in retail for the past four years, so instead of not having the stress and being totally overworked and exhausted, I was able to actually enjoy the season and holiday spirit!
I still battled those thoughts/feelings of guilt or shame for not walking as much, or being proactive with this blog, etc., but I have been working on not being so hard on myself, practicing being patient with myself and although it does feel good to reach goals and/or daily achievements, it also feels good to be adaptable and let go of the routine and structure for a little bit (confusing I know).
Christmas 2020
Now we here.. good ol’ January 2021!
I thought it would be beneficial to set intentions for this new year, rather than set goals that may not always work, so I wanted to share some of my intentions –
This year, I intend to spend time with God daily, this doesn’t have to be an official time of day or anything specific really, just would like to continue to strengthen my connection within and with the Universe and spirit world, allowing my mind stay open to the guidance that is always available. I intend to expand my knowledge by reading each night before bed. And I intend to honor my body and all that it does for me, beginning with learning the practice of yoga. I’ve dabbled in a few classes here and there but I would like to be more consistent, so I’m trying to practice at least 4X a week! I would also like to continue a consistent well-being practice of either walking, praying, meditating, journaling, or all of the above!
AND I know I’m only three weeks in, buuut so far so good! I have stuck to these intentions and am starting to feel like more at peace and have had less emotional outbursts! It feels good to say no to the excuses, to hold myself accountable to my SELF and to accept myself, exactly where I am at.
The biggest take away of all is that the self-sabotaging “ego” is REAL and is constantly creeping in to STOP me from feeling good, talking me out of taking action on something that I know deep down will make me feel better! I can’t tell you how many times I have tried talking myself out of practicing yoga, “what good is it doing?” “I’m too tired”, “I don’t want to stop watching Bridgerton for yoga”, “can’t.stop.scrolling.” are just a few examples of what mine says to me, basically pleading me to do ANYTHING else other than the 30-45 minute practice. And sometimes that voice wins, and that’s okay.. But, what I have realized is that it’s not the actual yoga that makes me feel good, it’s the fact that I stood up to that negative voice in my head, and did it anyway! That’s the true reward to choosing to do GOOD rather than what’s comfortable.
For anyone looking to add more positivity to everyday life –
What works for me, may not work for you, and what works for me right now, might not be what works for me in February and so on. We are each experiencing a different reality and there isn’t a one size fits all solution. However, if you’re anything like me, you might feel overwhelmed as to where to start and how to even make progress. I would advise to start with one thing you know would make you feel better.
A small step in the right direction, is better than no steps at all. For me, it was first noticing my negative thoughts and where were they coming from, usually after spending hours mindlessly scrolling on instagram comparing my life to those influencer or celebrity lives. Then redirecting those negative thoughts to positive ones, the best way to think more positively is by thinking of things you’re grateful for, there is always SOMETHING to be grateful for!
These small changes may not always be noticeable to others around you (mostly because it starts in your mind first), but if you begin by standing up to that negative monster inside your mind, I can guarantee you, you will feel better!
Affirmations that have helped me –
When I feel myself going down the spiral of fearful thoughts, I have to bring myself back to reality, back to the present moment and what is within my control. These are the affirmations I repeat to myself constantly.
I cherish this moment knowing it’s temporary.
My world, as well as the entire world, changed DRASTICALLY in 2020. And it is continuing to evolve before our eyes. Knowing that life will never be the same, is something that should not bring fear, rather hope and excitement. When I catch myself longing to relive the life I was living a year ago, I am also proud of the progress and growth I have made. I am grateful to have come this far, and I know that this moment will soon become the past. I do not want to give any more of the present away, I want to soak every minute up before it no longer exists.
I am perfect where I am
I have to trust that God has placed me here for a purpose. There is no point in dwelling on why I am in the situation I’m in, how I got here, and where do I go from here.. I trust in divine timing. I trust that the creator of this Universe knows exactly what It is doing, and I no longer want to resist where It is leading me, because I know that the Universe always has a greater plan than I could ever imagine on my own. I also know that we were all born in this historical era for a purpose, that each of the challenges we are facing are for a reason! I am learning to take my personal feelings out of the situation and trust that all of these many life changing experiences are providing me with the growth and wisdom I am needing, right now. I would prefer to be evolving and growing than to be stagnant or stuck. Have faith that everything is taking you exactly where you are meant to be. The key is to let go of the doubt and fear that are holding you contempt to the past and accepting that you are meant to be exactly where you are.
I am at peace, knowing that everything is working out in my favor
As much as I can get caught up in the shoulda woulda coulda mentality of wishing I could go back in time, I can also get caught up in the fear based thoughts of what the future holds. Especially living in a time that the future seems very unclear and kinda scary! Will we ever get to go to the store, work, or socialize without a mask or regulations? What’s going to happen to our country if we continue to be so divided and hateful, cancelling every opinion that doesn’t line up with what the media deems correct? I have no idea what the future holds, but listening to the voices in my head that are saying it is going to be terrible is not for me.
Universal law teaches us that your thoughts determine your circumstance, so rather than projecting fearful thoughts into the universe, I choose to think thoughts that are in my favor. God has a solution for every problem, a way out of every issue. Being patient and trusting His goodness is the only way to bring peace, love, and all that is good back to us. Worrying is not going to get you very far.
“I live in a Divinely inspired Universe. I have nothing to fear. I trust in myself, and when I do so, I trust in the very Wisdom that created me” Dr. Wayne Dyer
Overall, I feel all of my experiences in 2020 have shown me that I am meant to bring light and hope in whatever way I am capable. I have remained committed to practicing positive thoughts and positive practices that have opened the door for me to understanding what exactly it means to “feel good”, I also have realized that it’s not a one size fits all solution.
So as hard as this new reality has been to accept, it is MY reality. There is no going back, and you can’t bring the future any faster than one day at a time. Only God knows what the future will hold and I find so much comfort in that.
I still have a long way to go, I am still learning, I am far from having anything figured out, but what I know for sure, is that in 2021, I am choosing to subsribe to the good life.
Each and every person on this earth has unlimited purpose and value. The more you choose to tune into yourself and your needs, you are able to appreciate and cater to those good feeling thoughts and actions. It doesn’t happen overnight and it’s a constant work in progress, but it’s better than the alternative cycle of feeling lost, unhappy, and fearful.
I also want to share what resources I use to help me with keeping my mind in a good place!
Positive influences this month –
The Maxwell Leadership Bible (I’m obvi still reading it.. Haha but I love John Maxwell’s version, it breaks down each book and relates it to leadership and everyday life!)
Nature – This beautiful earth we live on is so inspiring to me, the perfection of nature always takes my breath away and BONUS! It’s FREE and available to anyone!
Another from my morning walk! I am always in awe of the sky, especially when the sun is rising or setting!!
Thank you for reading this post!! I hope it encourages you to lean into all that is good and beautiful in this world!
The idea of being “free” has been something on my mind since March if not before then..I was really wanting to be free from the job that no longer served me, and looking back at all that has transpired since then, I realize I knew very little about the wish of freedom I was putting out in the universe.
I’m not sure if any of you are with me, but I feel like this summer has been one for embracing whatever life throws my way (hence the embracing “theme” of my first three blogs), but with all of the unexpected curveballs that have gone down in this historical year of 2020, I feel like we don’t have many other options other than just goin with it.
As we have all learned in the past 6 months, we are in control of nothing in our outside world. Whether it’s the COVID-19 pandemic and government policies, or the natural disasters such as, hurricanes, earthquakes, fires, windstorms, on top of any personal battles, which for me, has been happening in the midst of it all. There are so many external factors that can completely flip our lives upside down at any given moment. If you’re anything like me, this triggers fear, anxieties, depression, and any other spiral of negative thoughts. So, rather than succumb to feelings of helplessness, I have been trying my best to surrender to whatever the universe is trying to show me. I’ve said it before, and I’ll definitely say it again, as long as I’m still breathing I am committed to making the most out of any situation I’m dealt, no matter what.
I was looking for some inspo to support my idea of feeling free and what that means to me. So, I started flipping through my current journal that I’ve been writing in since the April (I’ve been journaling every day for the past 3 years and it’s something I highly recommend if you’re looking for a way to relieve those racing thoughts, it’s also a great tool for reflecting on your personal growth). ANYWHO – one entry in particular caught my eye, on May 11, 2020 and I quote..
“I expect miracles, I receive miracles. In stillness I receive. I attract, I do not chase, my good flows to me and I am officially free.”
This was written the day I finally gave my two weeks at my job of 4 years. It no longer served me and my purpose, and I knew it was time to move on. I was under the impression that if I freed myself from that, everything else would miraculously fall into place. Little did I know the universe had MUCH more change in store for me, more than I could have ever anticipated. And when my entire life quite literally flipped upside down and a change too big to avoid presented itself to me, I felt scared and was desperately wishing things would just go back to the way they were, back to feeling comfortable and wanting to forget what I had been originally asking for. But at the same time, I knew deep down I didn’t want to go back to the way things were. I had to honor that initial yearning for change and for freedom.
For me, feeling free has transformed into my ability to no longer feel attached to any external circumstance, it’s no longer something that I can blame unhappiness on because only I can choose how happy I want to feel. We each have the freedom to choose what is best for us, personally, the freedom to stand up for what we want. I have come to the realization that I am and always will be free to choose ME. over anyone else.
I have faith in the fact that my good will toward myself and others will always see me through. That it is in my ability to no longer resist what is being revealed by the universe and to embrace all that is with an open heart. I’m finding that with heartbreak comes healing, and that I never want to feel angry about something that happened in my past, because without whatever disappointment or let down, there would be no strength. In my first blog, I wrote about embracing darkness, and today I feel so grateful and surprisingly glad that I had dark times, because without darkness there would be no light. I feel so grateful for all the change that I have been experiencing because it has pushed me to become stronger than I thought possible. And while freedom isn’t always easy, my happiness relies on my willingness to see my circumstance with hope rather than fear.
If you know me, and since you’re reading this blog, I’m fairly confident that you do, you know how much I believe in writing and the power of our words. I now realize the power behind those words I wrote in that journal entry, just four months ago. And I may have no idea what is to come from all of the many changes I am facing.. But I do know that I truly feel free and ready to receive anything and everything the universe has in store for me. This transformation from fear into hope has allowed me to now feel excited about the unknown, rather than anxious or hopeless. I am learning that there is great strength that comes from letting go and accepting that my circumstances are not what is holding me back, only I can do that. I am understanding that it truly is my mindset that holds all the power, I believe this has been one of the most valuable lessons I could ever learn, and for that I am tremendously thankful.
Not gonna lie, it’s pretty scary to put my feelings out here on the internet haha but the alternative is to keep them hidden inside. And that would be the exact opposite of the freedom I’m currently trying to embrace..so here I am. haha. But the universe always pulls through to reassure me that there is no failure in trying. So as I prepare myself to write, I like to meditate and ask for the right words. After I was reading through my journal, I decided to draw a card from Gabrielle Bernstein’s Super Attractor Deck, and what do ya know. it’s perfectly fitting.. So I had to share –
“Believing in spiritual guidance gives me certainty and the freedom to keep dreaming, even when I can’t yet see the result.”
Thought I’d share a pic to give you a visual
I wanna hear from you! Are there any dark times that you can now feel grateful for? What about a past situation that you can now look back at and feel grateful you are free? Message me, or comment below! I love hearing your stories, you give me strength more than you realize.
And, if you’re currently in a dark place, I want you to know that I am here for you, I have faith in you, it is never too late to choose again, and I can assure you that the tide will change in your favor so long as you’re willing to take back your power and recognize that you are free to be happy.
ALSO! Wanted to let you know that I’ve been working on all new affirmations for our next challenge coming up within the next month, so make sure you get on the list if you missed the last one, click here to sign up!
I am always so appreciative of you for reading my blog, it’s always my pleasure to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who is interested!! I also appreciate any/all feedback so please don’t be shy.
I pray you receive an abundance of happiness this month!
I felt change was the appropriate topic for this month’s blog because not only is change something we are enduring as a whole, almost everyone I talk to is going through some kind of major life change, myself included.
I turn 30 years old tomorrow – I don’t have a job, I have been engaged, but never been married, I don’t have any kids, and the only “property” I (almost) own is my car. It’s safe to say that when I used to sing Deana Carter’s Strawberry Wine, “when 30 was old”, I did not expect this would be what 30 looked like or felt like. Accepting that I am not where I wanted to be was my first step to embracing change. I have always had a rigid expectation of where I expected myself to be, I am goal driven and am someone who sets high expectations for myself and my future. Rather than feeling bad for myself, I am accepting my life as it is, and am committed to looking at my current situation realistically, and with the utmost optimism. I am learning that true achievement is in my willingness to transform into a better version of myself, and I can honestly say, I feel proud of who I am, despite the things I “don’t have”.
It’s funny because regardless of the many known benefits that can come with any change, there is usually a resistance to it. I think this is because most change requires us to let go or move on from something that we have become attached to. That attachment may be to, a mindset, a person, a job, a lifestyle, etc. But it’s important to remember that, evolution and transformation are essential for growth, and while your everyday life may not feel the same, you are never actually without what you feel you may have lost, because that experience/memory/person is yours for eternity.
If change is inevitable and tomorrow isn’t promised, I find comfort in knowing that every evolving circumstance happens solely for my benefit, and to be honest, what’s the alternative? Thinking that the world is against me? That would be getting me nowhere. So, as per usual, I came up with an affirmation to help me embrace change, My life is an adventure and I choose to enjoy the ride.
Reminding myself that enjoying my life, is my choice, is empowering! This has helped me redirect any anxiety I have surrounding the unknown, into excitement for the surprise of not knowing what the future holds.
Many of us crave some sort of change (new relationship, new job, new house, new baby, etc), but as soon as we are given the choice to change, we become afraid of the loss that must happen before receiving our desire (old house, old lifestyle, old friends, etc.), and may lose sight of the wins that are to come. The truth is, you are never actually LOSING something. Your past will ALWAYS be part of your story, the love you have shared with another person is never going to be taken away from you. And the memories and adventures you have lived are going to continue to write your own personal story.
Change will always find you, whether you like it or not, we are constantly changing, evolving, growing and hopefully improving. Change is inevitable and never-ending, and it will continue to be something you must overcome, over and over again. So, I have decided rather than fight whatever transformation is occurring, I will surrender my power to the power of the universe, and have unwavering faith in the process.
“Faith is an aspect of consciousness. We either have faith in fear or we have faith in love, faith in the power of the world or faith in the power of God”
– A Return To Love, Marianne Williamson
We are free to experience the endless beauty this life constantly provides in each passing moment. Of course, I want to have that picture perfect “adult” life I thought I would have, but what good is it to sit upon a rock and wish I had something, without opening my eyes and seeing everything I already have! If I had to exchange my actual reality for the life I might think I want, I don’t know that I would, because the lessons I have learned in the past 29 years are beyond measure. I am learning to appreciate my ability to embrace change. To find joy and satisfaction in the chaos and uncertainty. It is in times of change, that we are given the chance to reconnect to our true self.
I think that, no matter how scary or unknown the future may be, it is in the acceptance that we don’t HAVE to know everything, that will help redefine our sense of self.
In my opinion, every year should be the year of change. Every day should be a day of enlightenment and understanding. No matter how much you try to avoid change, it always finds you. And if you’re anything like me, a creature of habit, changing what you know, is not always the easiest or the most natural thing. However, what I can appreciate about change, is knowing that with change comes knowledge and creation. Recognizing that if I were unable to embrace change, I would become stagnant and frozen, and what kind of life would that be?
“It’s not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change” – Charles Darwin
So, I guess the takeaway would be, live fully in the now. Love those that surround you. Appreciate all that you have in this present moment. Make a conscious effort to not take this life you have been given for granted, despite the adversity you may face. Because nothing in this physical world is permanent, it is all temporary. There will come a time that you will have everything you have ever wanted, and you may still be wishing for a change, and there will also come a time that you no longer have what you have today. “Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping, into the fuuuturee.” (Steve Miller Band, Fly Like an Eagle)
The most important thing you can do for yourself is, make the most out of this day, sit back, and enjoy the ride you have been given!
Thank you so much for reading this month’s positivi-tea! I appreciate your support more than you will ever know, I am wishing you strength, resilience and love throughout all the changes you experience.
Welcome to my first Positivi-tea post!! To be honest with you, I feel a little weird haha I’m trying out this whole website/blog thing for the first time and I’m not entirely sure I’m doing it right..haha Regardless, I’m stoked to have an audience, so thank YOU and here we go –
I had this idea to promote positivity in somehow/someway – creating a community that can share best practices for keeping spirits high. A place to celebrate the wins with you, if it’s been a good week. A support and reminder that you’re not alone, if it’s been a bad week. Somewhere that will help pick you up when you may feel helpless or lost.
You know that amazing feeling when your emotions are in check? You are feeling good and confident and put together – you work better, you love better, you’re a better friend, stranger, boss, parent, and overall better person! The same goes for when your emotions aren’t in check – your hair’s a mess, your house is a mess, traffic is the worst, your friends are the worst, and that sales girl was the worst, so you took it all out on her, pretending like you really cared THAT much to save that $3.50. I know I’m not alone here, I’ve been that sales girl 🙂 .
I KNOW we all have bad days, weeks, months, and sometimes years, so why do we feel so ashamed to admit it??! Sometimes I ask myself, why do I feel like I have to answer the “how are you doing?”, so quickly by saying, “good!”…. why isn’t it socially acceptable to be vulnerable and honest, some days my response might be more like – “Life f*Cking sucks rn but I’m doing my best to keep it together” or “I’m aight, been in an emotional funk lately but trying to survive one day at time, you?”
At the beginning of June, I was in one of those funks. Feeling really sad for no actual reason, I felt lost, unsure, indecisive, stuck, negative, drained, annoyed. I also felt frustrated at myself for feeling this way and confused as to why I felt like I couldn’t stop myself from feeling this way. This got me thinking, if someone like me [who is optimistic most of the time/believes to the core that we are a result of our thoughts] am struggling to pick my own self up, what about people who don’t have as optimistic of an outlook as myself?
I wanted to learn exactly what triggers this kind of out of the blue, emotional despair. So I went and gathered up all of my good ol’ positive psychology books and started flipping through for answers. Learned Optimisim, by Martin Seligman was one book in particular that caught my interest. Seligman is one of the first psychologist to study positive psychology, he studies the psychology of what makes life worth living – identifying behaviors noticed in optimistic people vs pessimistic people and how these different perspectives effect the individual’s well-being and happiness. In Learned Optimisim, he discusses how someone that is naturally more pessimistic, can practice and relearn how to interpret and deal with adversity in a more optimistic light, rather than a helpless one.
In one chapter, Seligman includes a quiz to assess your depression, asking questions like, in the past week – did you have crying spells?, feel lonely?, talk less than usual?, feel you weren’t as good as other people?, had trouble keeping your mind on what you’re doing?, etc., and according to the quiz I was suffering from moderate depression. This was somewhat laughable, but also very eye opening for me. I was feeling down, but I wouldn’t have considered myself depressed, maybe three years ago I could agree, but I’ve worked hard to keep my mind set positive since then. My initial instinct was, that can’t be right. But after I went back and reread my answers, I couldn’t argue my answers or change them, it was how I was feeling.
Seligman’s point in sharing the quiz, and my point in sharing it now, is that these emotional “funks” are normal, he goes on to say that depression is extremely common for every one. We all go through these time periods that are sad, daunting, discouraging, and defeating. However, if you allow yourself to stay in this low state of despair, you may find yourself in a severe depression, which is what we want to avoid.
Embracing and overcoming these dark times is imperative for healing. I think it’s important to find understanding within our self, recognize the feelings of despair and know that it is okay to feel sad, or lost.. these “negative” feelings/emotions do not have to define us. Rather than allowing these pessimistic thoughts to take full control, we can fight back and rebuttal with more optimistic thoughts, rewiring your mind to think differently, embrace and understand that these fears, worries and doubts are totally normal and nothing to feel ashamed of.
Life can easily overwhelm you, to the point that you feel completely paralyzed while time is passing by. And if you’re still reading this, and somewhat relate, I want you to know you are not alone. Everyone has to go through dark times at some point in life, but you will survive, and you will become stronger.
Dark times are ESSENTIAL to our growth, it is these moments that define and shape the person we are meant to become. Every single person on this earth will experience darkness, sadness, deep pain, and loss, but I believe we are never faced with something we can not overcome. Remember that everything you maybe going through right now is TEMPORARY. Thoughts, feelings, circumstances, and all of these uncertain times, are just that – lapses in time. Every minute changing onto the next, no second the same after the one that passed. This moment in time will NOT last forever.
I savor this moment, knowing it will pass.
You are a powerful being! Your resilience is essential in overcoming the darkness – be proud of your self and your willingness to keep moving forward. Trust that surviving whatever maybe causing you pain, will one day be an experience that you are able to feel proud of, knowing you survived and made it through!
Small daily actions, lead to biglifelongresults. Everything in life is made up of how we deal with each present moment. You may not feel like picking yourself up off the ground, or taking a walk outside, or sitting in silence just to enjoy the silence, but I assure you, if you manage to make a small, 5 minute, commitment to serving whatever you know is best for your happiness, DO IT. You might not feel happy immediately, but if you allow yourself to try, happiness will soon follow. Be kind to yourself, celebrate the wins, celebrate the fact that you’re becoming stronger without even feeling like it. Most importantly, celebrate your darkness – for it is what fuels your light to shine.
I truly believe that each life is meant for great purpose. I don’t believe in fate or coincidences rather, intention and destiny. I firmly believe in karma and that we are all a product of the energy we put out. I believe our actions speak much louder than our words, and in order to receive more love, we have to be open to loving more.
I want to make sure that if someone hasn’t already told you, I tell you in this first blog – There is a light at the end of whatever dark tunnel you’re in, and no matter how dark or endless it may appear, I promise you, there will be a way and you will find your light. There is ALWAYS a way, and if you don’t know what that way is, or which direction to take, I want to help you get there! The first way I intend to help whoever needs some love is with my 10 day affirmation challenge. PLEASE CHECK IT OUT!!
I also thought it could be helpful if I share a couple of positive resources that have helped me through some of my darker times –
Gabby Bernstein is one of my inspos, she writes several books that are incredible, The Universe Has Your Back and Super Attractor are two of my faves! She shared this free positive affirmation meditation a couple months ago, it’s helped me tremendously! SO I hope you like –
And if you’re interested in learning more about Martin Seligman’s view on positive psychology, this podcast recently came out and it’s another great resource –
Thank you so much for reading this month’s post and visiting this site. If you haven’t already, please check out the affirmation challenge, it’s free and I really believe it is a great tool for anyone who wants to start introducing more positive practices into every day life.
May you have the best July and enjoy the beauty of summer –
