The idea of being “free” has been something on my mind since March if not before then..I was really wanting to be free from the job that no longer served me, and looking back at all that has transpired since then, I realize I knew very little about the wish of freedom I was putting out in the universe. 

I’m not sure if any of you are with me, but I feel like this summer has been one for embracing whatever life throws my way (hence the embracing “theme” of my first three blogs), but with all of the unexpected curveballs that have gone down in this historical year of 2020, I feel like we don’t have many other options other than just goin with it. 

As we have all learned in the past 6 months, we are in control of nothing in our outside world. Whether it’s the COVID-19 pandemic and government policies, or the natural disasters such as, hurricanes, earthquakes, fires, windstorms, on top of any personal battles, which for me, has been happening in the midst of it all. There are so many external factors that can completely flip our lives upside down at any given moment. If you’re anything like me, this triggers fear, anxieties, depression, and any other spiral of negative thoughts. So, rather than succumb to feelings of helplessness, I have been trying my best to surrender to whatever the universe is trying to show me. I’ve said it before, and I’ll definitely say it again, as long as I’m still  breathing I am committed to making the most out of any situation I’m dealt, no matter what.

I was looking for some inspo to support my idea of feeling free and what that means to me. So, I started flipping through my current journal that I’ve been writing in since the April (I’ve been journaling every day for the past 3 years and it’s something I highly recommend if you’re looking for a way to relieve those racing thoughts, it’s also a great tool for reflecting on your personal growth). ANYWHO – one entry in particular caught my eye, on May 11, 2020 and I quote..

“I expect miracles, I receive miracles. In stillness I receive. I attract, I do not chase, my good flows to me and I am officially free.”

This was written the day I finally gave my two weeks at my job of 4 years. It no longer served me and my purpose, and I knew it was time to move on. I was under the impression that if I freed myself from that, everything else would miraculously fall into place. Little did I know the universe had MUCH more change in store for me, more than I could have ever anticipated. And when my entire life quite literally flipped upside down and a change too big to avoid presented itself to me, I felt scared and was desperately wishing things would just go back to the way they were, back to feeling comfortable and wanting to forget what I had been originally asking for. But at the same time, I knew deep down I didn’t want to go back to the way things were. I had to honor that initial yearning for change and for freedom. 

For me, feeling free has transformed into my ability to no longer feel attached to any external  circumstance, it’s no longer something that I can blame unhappiness on because only I can choose how happy I want to feel. We each have the freedom to choose what is best for us, personally, the freedom to stand up for what we want. I have come to the realization that I am and always will be free to choose ME. over anyone else. 

I have faith in the fact that my good will toward myself and others will always see me through. That it is in my ability to no longer resist what is being revealed by the universe and to embrace all that is with an open heart. I’m finding that with heartbreak comes healing, and that I never want to feel angry about something that happened in my past, because without whatever disappointment or let down, there would be no strength. In my first blog, I wrote about embracing darkness, and today I feel so grateful and surprisingly glad that I had dark times, because without darkness there would be no light. I feel so grateful for all the change that I have been experiencing because it has pushed me to become stronger than I thought possible. And while freedom isn’t always easy, my happiness relies on my willingness to see my circumstance with hope rather than fear.  

If you know me, and since you’re reading this blog, I’m fairly confident that you do, you know how much I believe in writing and the power of our words. I now realize the power behind those words I wrote in that journal entry, just four months ago. And I may have no idea what is to come from all of the many changes I am facing.. But I do know that I truly feel free and ready to receive anything and everything the universe has in store for me. This transformation from fear into hope has allowed me to now feel excited about the unknown, rather than anxious or hopeless. I am learning that there is great strength that comes from letting go and accepting that my circumstances are not what is holding me back, only I can do that. I am understanding that it truly is my mindset that holds all the power, I believe this has been one of the most valuable lessons I could ever learn, and for that I am tremendously thankful.

Not gonna lie, it’s pretty scary to put my feelings out here on the internet haha but the alternative is to keep them hidden inside. And that would be the exact opposite of the freedom I’m currently trying to embrace..so here I am. haha. But the universe always pulls through to reassure me that there is no failure in trying. So as I prepare myself to write, I like to meditate and ask for the right words. After I was reading through my journal, I decided to draw a card from Gabrielle Bernstein’s Super Attractor Deck, and what do ya know. it’s perfectly fitting.. So I had to share –

“Believing in spiritual guidance gives me certainty and the freedom to keep dreaming, even when I can’t yet see the result.” 

I wanna hear from you! Are there any dark times that you can now feel grateful for? What about a past situation that you can now look back at and feel grateful you are free? Message me, or comment below! I love hearing your stories, you give me strength more than you realize. 

And, if you’re currently in a dark place, I want you to know that I am here for you, I have faith in you, it is never too late to choose again, and I can assure you that the tide will change in your favor so long as you’re willing to take back your power and recognize that you are free to be happy. 

ALSO! Wanted to let you know that I’ve been working on all new affirmations for our next challenge coming up within the next month, so make sure you get on the list if you missed the last one, click here to sign up!

I am always so appreciative of you for reading my blog, it’s always my pleasure to share my thoughts and feelings with anyone who is interested!! I also appreciate any/all feedback so please don’t be shy. 

I pray you receive an abundance of happiness this month! 

I love you so much, 

Yassie